Black Belt Graduation

My oldest son and I both earned our Kukkiwon 1st Dan black belts in taekwondo back in October of last year. You can read about my taekwondo journey and me feelings regarding the test here and here’s a rundown of the test itself and my thoughts afterward (spoiler alert: it was really fucking hard).

What does that have to do with art or graphic design? Nothing. But this is my blog and it was pretty cathartic for me to write out my thoughts, so there we go.

We were finally able to have our graduation ceremony a couple months ago in March. Apparently it took a long time for the official certificates to get here from Korea.

Friends and family were invited to attend. Our master instructors were there along with a few studio instructors who were integral to our training. This was seriously a team effort!

The beginning of the graduation involved a trail run up a pretty steep hill where we were all presented with our black belts. I was the LAST one up the damned hill because I didn’t see which direction the group went and I went the wrong way. Also, it was ridiculously muddy, I almost fell multiple times.

We took lots of photos at the top of the hill and then headed back to our studio.

This photo is me with my husband. Anyone who has parented a child through the physical and mental preparation that goes into a martial arts black belt test would agree that there should be a black belt for parents. We have watched quite a few parents go through it and we wholeheartedly agree that they've earned their own kind of black belt.

Compound that with supporting your spouse going through the same-but-different preparation too and you have the level of awesomeness that my husband achieved. It took me a long time to put these feelings into words; which is apparent since our black belt test was months ago.

Part of me didn't want to test alongside my son because I worried that I would focus too much on his training at the expense of my own. My husband was the rock that supported our preparation and it took on multiple forms... Pushing our son when he wanted to quit or refused to listen to me anymore (which was a lot). Commiserating with me and offering ice/heat/massage/ibuprofen when I was in pain. Humoring me when I questioned why the hell I was doing this. Cooking dinner pretty much every night, including the 4-5 nights/week for 2-3 hours we were at the studio. Encouraging me to go to class when I didn't want to, but in a way that wasn't a guilt-trip. Coordinating with other parents to make sure we had support during our black belt test. Making sure uniforms were clean, sparring gear was accounted for, and belts and weapons were always in the car.

I don't know if I would have passed if I hadn't been able to put parenting (and sometimes adulting) on the back burner many nights and I feel like my husband earned this belt almost as much as me.

Wholeheartedly, thank you babe.

Back to the graduation…

We headed back to our studio and changed into uniforms. Our master instructor said a few words about what being a black belt means and how hard we worked for them. Then we all got our belts, one by one.

Actually, there IS a tiny bit of graphic design in this post because I do most of the graphic design for our studio. Here is the printed program I created for our graduation. These were 8.5x11 inches, folded in half, and printed on card stock at our local Office Depot. I kept the color scheme simple with black, gray, and red.

The back cover had a bunch of messages that I asked parents to write to their kids and there is one message from my husband to Rachel and me (the two non-kids). I felt it was a bit too personal to share publicly, but it looked beautiful too.

Lastly, here’s a video one of our master instructors made about our test. She’s pretty darned good at it.

So, that’s it.

But you know the crazy part? I’m thinking about testing for my 2nd degree black belt in October of this year…

Mourning the Age Gap

*I wrote this post in the summer of 2013 when I was in the thick of trying to get pregnant with my youngest son and we were approaching the 2-year mark. I was processing my feelings and writing them for a parenting blog I ran at the time. Since that blog no longer exists, I wanted to save many posts I’d written because writing them back then served as great therapy for me. This is one of them.

A couple of months after my son turned two, I was ready to get back on the baby-making train. We got pregnant with TJ very easily, so I had faith that it would happen for us again within a few months. Little did I know that the universe had other plans for us.

I’m the oldest of four kids, all born about two years apart. Sure, we had our fights when we were young; sharing bedrooms will do that to any siblings. But we were all pretty close and I think we had a pretty rad childhood.

Cut to now, we’re all in our late 20s and 30s and living pretty far apart from each other, yet we are emotionally closer than we have ever been. We constantly support each other the best we can, given our distance.

Even before my son was born, I wanted my kids to be around the same age gap as I am to my siblings. The quantity of children was undecided but I knew I wanted them to be two to three years apart. I felt that the closeness I share with my siblings was due in part to our closeness in age.

Do siblings who are further apart in age still have fantastic relationships? Sure! I just use my own childhood as reference.

We’ve been trying for almost two years to conceive a sibling for TJ. The age gap that I thought I wanted, that I thought was perfect, is now gone. If I were to get pregnant right now, my kids would be more than four years apart. And I have no idea how much bigger that gap is going to get…. whether we conceive a child of our own or look to adoption.

More than 4 years apart and they likely won’t be in high school at the same time, looking out for each other like I did with my brother. They may not like the same generation of kids’ toys and music. Heck, I don’t even know if I will be able to use the same car seats before they expire.

A few months ago, I literally had to mourn the childhood I thought my son was going to have with any siblings… hoping it would be just like mine. I know it’s a silly notion, but the pain I felt was real.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but I was really down about it for a while. One could argue that I have no right to feel so down about my “unexplained infertility” since I have been able to have one amazing little boy when so many women are still struggling to have their first child.

To some extent, that’s true. I feel incredibly blessed to have my son.

But you know what? I’m not done yet. My family isn’t done yet. I know it’s selfish, but I want to experience pregnancy again (even the crappy parts). I want to experience childbirth again. I even want to go through the newborn phase again, no matter how much I will think back to this very moment and say, “what was I thinking?”

As time heals everything, the pain of not having my children when I wanted has lessened. As TJ grows more independent and communicates more effectively, I am seeing more and more how he is going to make an amazing big brother some day. I hope he will be able to cope with the big change that comes when a new baby joins a family; a change that probably would have been much harder on him when he was just two or even three.

Does my heart ache when TJ asks me for a baby brother or baby sister? Hell yes. I still fight back tears when he tells me, “Mommy, try harder.”

But I feel more and more at ease with the fact that the universe will choose the right time, not me.

Traveling Gingerbread Man 2

In 2019, our friend Jaxon had an assignment in his class where he asked friends and family to send postcards and notes claiming they met the Gingerbread Man on their road trips and travels. I leveled up on our adventures and had a TON of fun in Photoshop adding the Gingerbread Man to some photos and sending fun messages to Jaxon’s kindergarten class. You can view that post here.

Last fall, my niece Maddie’s kindergarten class was doing the same assignment and I was STOKED to get to create a few more images and also send the ones I made before. Below are the photos along with the letters we sent. For these, we actually printed everything out and sent them in cards. Apparently they were a HUGE hit in her class.

Hi Ms. Conti's Class,

It's Matthew and Tommy again, Madison's cousins. We've done a lot of road trips lately, and it seems like we share a lot of the same interests as the Gingerbread Person. This July, we bumped into them while exploring the Trail of Ten Falls at Silver Falls State Park in Oregon. This trail is so amazing as we hike through a lush forest and we can see ten different waterfalls over the 9 mile hiking trail. On many of the waterfalls, the trail goes behind them! Thankfully, the Gingerbread Person didn't get too soggy when we splashed in the water with them. Wouldn't want them to lose an arm! We also shared some s'mores with them at our campsite. What a beautiful place to visit!

Hope we'll bump into them again this summer.

Love, Matthew and Tommy

Hola Ms. Conti's Class!

It's the Wong Family again, saying hello to Madison and wanting to share that we had a fun afternoon with the Gingerbread Person at Crater Lake National Park in Oregon. Crater Lake is the DEEPEST lake in North America at 1,949 feet deep! Wow! It's a crazy deep shade of blue and was formed from a volcano, so there are no rivers or streams that flow into or out of it. Pretty cool, right? We hope you can visit one day because it's such a beautiful place.

Adios, the Wong Family

Hi Madison and Ms. Conti's Class!

We spent a day exploring Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, Colorado. The sandstone cliffs and canyons look a lot like many places we've explored in Utah, but it has its own geological history. We watched some kids do some rock climbing, they climbed so high! It was a pretty hot day, but that didn't stop us from enjoying a couple of short hikes with the Gingerbread Person. We shared some fruit snacks and trail mix and we chatted about where they were headed next. The views were gorgeous and it was a really amazing place to explore after being on the road for so long. We hope you can check it out one day.

See ya! Matthew & Tommy

Below are a few repeats from the previous iteration:

Hello, Ms. Conti's Class,

Madison's cousins, Tommy and Matthew saying hi and sharing yet another Gingerbread Person sighting. They must have had the same road trip plans as us this year. We ran into them at the north shore of Lake Tahoe, California and they joined us for a swim in the crystal-clear water. The water is so clear in Lake Tahoe that we can see more than 50 feet down and it's the 2nd deepest lake in North America. We bid farewell when we got wrinkly fingers and advised them to do the same. Since they're made of gingerbread, we didn't want them to get soggy!

I hope they had a great time on the rest of his road trip!
Adios, Tommy and Matthew

Hi Ms. Conti's Class,

It's Tommy and Matthew again, say hi to Madison for us, we miss her! We were on a road trip with our parents and we stopped at the Bonneville Salt Flats in western Utah to see if we could watch some race cars break land speed records. Did you know that the Bonneville Salt Flats are left over from when most of Utah was a massive ancient lake?? Lo and behold, we saw The Gingerbread Person too! They were scoping out some rocket cars and enjoying the weather. Thankfully it wasn't too hot, but wow, it gets bright when the sun reflects off of the salt! Sunglasses are a must! Wonder where they were headed next?

Best, Tommy and Matthew

Hi Ms. Conti's Class!

We are the Wong Family: Alex, Bill, Tommy and Matthew. We're Madison's cousins and we live in Utah. We were exploring Arches National Park in Moab, Utah earlier this year and you wouldn't believe who we ran into: The Gingerbread Person! They must have been on vacation, exploring the beautiful sandstone desert. They were so nice by sharing some gumdrops with us and we shared granola bars with them on the trail. We were totally photobombed too! What a stinker!
Love, Tommy and Matthew

Hello, Ms Conti's Class,

It's the Wong Family again, Tommy and Matthew. We were hiking with some friends in Big Cottonwood Canyon in the snowy Wasatch Mountains of Utah this week and we ran into our old friend, The Gingerbread Person. He said he was hoping to get in some skiing before another snow storm came through, and we hope he found some slopes, because it's supposed to snow again tonight!

We hope you're staying warm this winter, miss you Madison!
Cheers, Tommy and Matthew

Hiking My Way Retreat - 2022

I had the privilege of attending a retreat in 2019 hosted by Shanti Hodges and Mirna Valerio and it was transformative. I had spent almost all of my 30s juggling a long commute, being pregnant, and taking care of babies that I completely neglected my own physical, mental, and emotional health. The year I turned 40, I vowed to make my own health a higher priority and saving up money to attend this retreat was part of that.

I wrote about that specific retreat here and I find it funny how I really only documented the hikes we went on rather than the experience itself. Maybe I couldn’t find the words?

The following year, I saved up even more money and got some help from my mom and my brother-in-law so I could bring my sister with me. It was a wonderful experience to get to share this escape with her. We both needed the time to reconnect with ourselves as women and it was perfect timing too. That retreat took place the last week of February in 2020… literally weeks before everything shut down.

Shanti wasn’t able to host a retreat in 2021, but with the Covid vaccine finally available and the virus seeming to head down a path towards becoming endemic, a retreat happened again back in February. Shanti asked if I’d like to come and be a staff member. So long as I could make things work with my husband and the carpooling of kids to and from school, he made it happen for me.

There’s something magical about coming to the desert and spending time with complete strangers. We all came for a seemingly singular purpose: to move our bodies outside. But within a single day, it became a sacred space where we could be completely vulnerable and naked; both figuratively and literally in some cases. Even with this being my third time attending, with mostly different women each time (there have been a few repeat offenders), it became the same magical space of support and community.

We were all asked one night “why are you here?” For many, that was a loaded question, for others, not as much. Some of us had lost our selves in motherhood or careers and were trying to find us again. Some wanted to connect with women and be part of a new community. Others simple needed a retreat; in every sense of the word.

Tuesday is an Episcopalian rector and she attended the event this past month. She wrote a beautiful blog post about her experience and comparing it to why Jesus went into the desert.

“Being in the desert quickly calls your attention to what is essential. What do you take in your pack each day? Whatever you bring, you carry for many miles. Start with plenty of water and portable foods to sustain you on the trails. Temperatures rise quickly and drop quickly - layers are essential. Sunscreen, hats, gloves, first aid kits, phones to take pictures with, maybe a GPS device. Not much else. Too much and you risk carrying more than you need, wasting valuable energy. Too little and you risk dehydration, hunger, sunburns, and open wounds.”

I am probably one of the least-religious people I know, and I found her words really moving and spot-on with how curative and healing being in the desert has been for me; especially when I’m there with other women.

“We waited on one another. We accommodated one another. We showed each other what we knew. We were good company. At the end of the day, we knew deep down in the marrow of our bones that we were alive, that life is a gift, and that gift is a joy-filled good. What power does the tempter have over such as this?

In the desert, everything is stripped down to what is most essential: water; food; basic supplies; kinship; reverence. The rest just weighs you down.”

With the combined knowledge and skill throughout the group, we took care of each other. We had women who had never visited Utah before and some who were veterans at hiking in the desert. We had women who were ultra-runners and women who were hiking on trails for the very first time. We were all shapes and sizes, and ages that spanned more than a few decades.

Shanti has a magical talent for bringing people together and it was an honor to get to be a part of it; every time.

Valentine's Day 2022

Happy Valentine’s Day to those who celebrate! This is not a holiday we typically do anything for; feeling that’s it’s mostly driven by retail companies. That being said, creating fun valentines for school parties has become something I do look forward to each year.

This year my oldest son proclaimed “we don’t do valentines in middle school.” I rolled my eyes at him, but whatever.

At least my second grader still does valentines! We opted to go with non-food valentines again this year right when Sticker Mule was having a great sale on 3x3 inch holographic stickers. So he and I worked on a quick and fun design and I got them ordered. Have I mentioned that he loves bacon?

Next up was some kind of card to put the stickers on to give out at his party. We needed something for folks to know who these were from. I created a 4x5 inch card so I could print four on a page. I added a bacon border that matched the sticker and added his name. I had them printed and trimmed at my local Office Depot and they were ready within an hour.

I LOVE how these turned out! Here’s a breakdown of the pricing:

• 50 vinyl, holographic stickers, roughly 3x3 inch - on sale - $31.10 (incl tax, shipping was free)

• 12 pages printed on card stock (4 cards per page) and trimmed - $11.84

• double-sided tape (we already had some)

• Total: $42.94

That came out to $.89 cents per valentine for 48 valentines. There are only 25 kids in my son’s class, but he will also give one to his teacher, the class aides, specials teachers (music, PE, art, Spanish, etc), and the two administrative assistants. The minimum order for the deal on Sticker Mule was 50 stickers, so even if he only gave them out in his class, we’ll have leftover stickers to share with friends or I can list them in my sticker store for a few bucks.

Overall, this wasn’t crazy expensive and I love coming up with a fun way to do non-food, non-candy, allergen-free valentines.