10 Fun Facts About Me

Happy New Year!! I have lots of fun things planned for 2022 in my little world of painting and drawing, and I cannot wait to see how they evolve in the coming months.

My oldest son is 12 and he has aspirations to be a YouTube content creator someday… like many kids his age. He occasionally watches videos that give advice on social media marketing and asked me if I’d ever written a “Fun Facts” post. I haven’t, but figured I’d start the new year with a blog post and see how many I could come up with.

So here goes…

1. My son and I both tested for a Kukkiwon 1st degree black belt in taekwondo in October of 2021 and we both PASSED! It was really, really hard; both physically and mentally, but I’m so proud of both of us. I wrote much longer posts about my taekwondo journey and the test itself that you can read if you’re interested. We’ll get our black belts and certificates some time in early 2022 since they come from Korea.

2. I never developed a taste for coffee; not even coffee ice cream, and it took me until my 40s before I could enjoy a Frappuccino without cringing at the coffee flavor that most don’t even notice. I do enjoy a Frappuccino now and then and actually like the tiny coffee flavor now, so I wonder if I will eventually like coffee?

3. I hate roller coasters. They are not fun or exhilarating for me and I hate the feeling of falling or being dizzy. I will never skydive or bungee jump willingly. I even get a little anxiety when I fly if there’s any turbulence, but I love to travel, so I don’t let it stop me from exploring when I can.

4. I took the class to become a soccer referee when I was 15 in an effort to earn a little money and maybe give me an edge as a player. I ended up being pretty good at it and the year I turned 17, I earned the title of Region IV Youth Referee of the Year; one of the top 4 female referees in the US under age 24. I got to travel to some big tournaments as a result; including the US Youth Soccer National Championships as a guest. I got to referee games with FIFA referees Brian Hall and Kari Seitz. Two years later, my brother earned the same honor and went a step further being chosen as National Youth Referee of the Year.

5. I spent 30+ years hating avocados; gross texture and flavor. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my youngest in 2014 that I started to like them and now I love them. Weird!

Goofy camp counselors. Made some amazing friends.

6. When I was 18, I had a job at a Girl Scout camp where I lived there all summer curating the arts & crafts program. My camp name was Batty; named after the cartoon bat from the movie Fern Gully. I have no recollection why I chose that name. I do remembering thinking bats were cool (still do) and maybe I couldn’t think of any other camp name, so it stuck. I had so much fun at that job that I dream of getting to do it again someday.... even though I would be 15-25 years older than ALL of the other staff members and the pay is pretty terrible. I even remember the words to most of the Girl Scout songs I learned growing up.

7. My maiden name is Tebow and my family is supposedly, distantly, related to the NFL player with the same last name. Not sure how we’re related, but his fame helped the rest of the country learn how to say Tebow correctly.

8. My husband and I dated for almost 10 years before we got married and it was mostly due to economics. When we both were in college, rent was already getting crazy in the San Francisco Bay Area, so we both stayed living at home well into our 20s. Neither of us wanted to spend a bunch on rent and have it keep us from being able to buy a house. Also, in 2001 we had 6 weddings to either attend or be part of, so we were OVER weddings for a long time. We finally got married in the fall of 2007.

Selfie in Lake Tahoe BEFORE there was even a word for a selfie… with a regular camera too!!

9. I am mostly left-handed, but ambidextrous with my feet; which comes in handy when playing soccer and in martial arts. I write, draw, paint, and eat with my left hand, but I brush my teeth and use scissors with only my right hand. I use tools like a screwdriver or hammer with both hands. I have never met anyone who has similar ambidextrous quirks.

10. I am a recipient of the Girl Scout Gold Award; the highest award someone can get in Girl Scouting as a youth. It’s the equivalent of the Eagle in Boy Scouting. My Gold Award Project involved painting a few murals in the hallways of my high school and polling the student body on whether they thought it could prevent vandalism and graffiti. I am also a Lifetime Member. These photos here show two of the first small wall paintings I did in the hallways of my high school. On the left I painted my friend Jamila and just across that hallway, she painted me. Then I did a version of Picasso’s Three Musicians. For my Gold Award Project I painted a really large piece of masonite (maybe 4x6 feet? I can’t remember) that ended up being hung in the main office. It had an earth in the middle and a bunch of faces of teenagers of different ethnicities around it. I'm kinda bummed I don’t have a photo of it finished… but also not that sad, because I’ve always been a better landscape painter, ha!

If you know me, were any of these new info to you??

15 Stocking Stuffers for Artists

Artists are often pretty easy to shop for. It’s even easier when you know what kinds of materials and tools they already love because they will always be appreciative of you restocking their supplies. I always have some art supplies on my wishlist; whether they are items I already use and love or items I want to try out, but maybe I’m not willing to spend the money on them yet.

There are lots of affiliate links in here and some that aren’t. If an item isn’t available on Amazon, then it’s not an affiliate link. Shopping thru Amazon links earns me a few cents and is greatly appreciated. If you shop from any non-affiliate link, then you’re just supporting an awesome, small business.

Pocket Palette - The first on my list are my Pocket Palettes; hands down. They are compact, convenient, and customizable. The creators of the Pocket Palette have made three different sizes: the Original Pocket Palette, the Demi Palette is a little smaller, and the Folio Palette is the largest of all three. I have two each of the Pocket Palettes and Folio Palettes; keeping my cool colors in one and warm colors in the other. The magnetic base makes it easy to remove pans for cleaning, refilling, and reorganizing your colors. Pans are available separately too in multiple sizes. I wrote more about my love of the Pocket Palettes a while back, you can read it here.

Collapsible Cup - For watercolor or acrylic painters who love to paint en plein air, there are lots of water brushes on the market that have a little reservoir of water in the handle. Honestly, I don’t love using those brushes. I much prefer to have a cup of water to use and I was thrilled to remember there are about a million collapsible cups on the market that will work. After reading reviews and thinking about how I would use it, I settled on a cup from Sea to Summit. It’s large and wider than most others, so the risk of it tipping over is less; which is nice since it’s usually perched on a rock or tree stump. It fits perfectly in my Art Toolkit too.

Pocket Art Toolkit - I bought myself the larger of Expeditionary Art’s Art Toolkit years ago and I have loved using it when I travel, hike, or whenever I need to take a few art supplies somewhere I will be able to paint. They added a smaller, Pocket Toolkit recently and it’s so stinkin cute. It works wonderfully with the Pocket Palette, a couple of travel brushes, pens, and a 4x6 sketchbook or watercolor pad. It will be my go-to for backpacking next summer. A while back I wrote about how my Art Toolkit helped me get back into plein air painting in 2020, you can read it here.

Wireless Speaker - For an artist who loves to listen to music or an audiobook when painting, consider a portable, wireless speaker for their studio space. I have one from Jabra and it does a wonderful job and can get quite loud when I need it to.

DaVinci Cosmotop Travel Brushes - I stumbled on these brushes at random a few years ago and I bought one to give it a try. They fold down so tiny and they are fantastic. They fit beautifully in my Art Toolkit and can easily be thrown in a backpack pocket if I need them on their own. The handle comes apart in the middle and the brush fits inside the handle where it’s protected.

Fingerless Gloves - My hands often get cold in the winter when I’m painting, and it causes my joints to hurt. I started wearing fingerless gloves when painting or working at my computer and it has helped a ton with joint pain. The fingerless part still lets me have the motor control and dexterity.

Pocket Tripod - I bought this on a whim when I saw it advertised on Instagram one day. It’s a little device that’s about the size of a credit card. It folds into a tripod that can easily hold my smartphone for when I take video of me painting or even just a way to get myself into photos. I have used it quite a bit! It’s lightweight, durable and takes up hardly any space. They are adaptable to any mobile phone too!

Travel Sketchbooks - You can never go wrong with a travel sketchbook. They come in all shapes and sizes, with simple covers or something elaborate with leather. If the artist you know does mostly watercolor or gouache, then I’d look for a book of watercolor paper, or at least mixed media paper. You can level up on your gifting game and head to Etsy for a personalized sketchbook with the artist’s name or a favorite quote on it.

Brushes - For anyone who paints, doesn’t matter if they use oils, acrylics, gouache, watercolor, or any combination, they will always be appreciative receiving paint brushes. If you can find out their favorite brand, then I’d recommend getting them. Watercolor brushes especially, can be prohibitively expensive, so when I can find a brush that does an amazing job and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, I am happy to share. My current favs are Princeton Velvetouch because they’re versatile, can be used with a variety of mediums, and are quite affordable. Trekell is another brand I really love and I recently bought vegan watercolor brushes from an artist I follow, Polina Bright, and they are so dreamy to use!

Apple Pencil - For any artist with an iPad Pro or any other model that’s compatible with the Apple Pencil, consider getting one. It opens up a whole new world of digital media for your artist and it fits wonderfully in a stocking.

Palm Rejection Gloves - For the friend or family member whom you bought an Apple Pencil for, consider spending a couple more bucks for a palm rejection glove. This is simply a glove that only covers the pinky and ring fingers and makes it a lot easier to draw on an iPad and not have your palm mess with your drawing. This is especially handy with drawing apps like Procreate.

Electric Eraser - For artists who do a lot of drawing with graphite or even a painter who starts out with pencil drawings, consider getting them an electric eraser. This thing is awesome at erasing the smallest of lines and smudges and it’s wonderful at getting very precise areas. Plus, it's really fun to use!

Markers - For most artists, you can’t go wrong with some nifty new markers. Whether they’re high-end brush pens, calligraphy pens, or more, most of us are happy to have them to doodle. My favorites are from Tombow and Copic, and I love my watercolor brush pens from budget brand Arteza. I love Zebra Fude and Faber Castell for waterproof markers where I can draw first and then use watercolor on top.

Mini Canvases - Painting on an itty-bitty surface can be a really fun challenge; especially if someone is used to paining on a much larger scale. It’s amazing how small canvases come these days. I have a few that are 4x4 inches on my fridge and even some that are 2x2 inches that I’m hoping to turn into ornaments. I have even seen some that come with little easels to display the little canvases.

Stickers - Support an artist and buy stickers of their artwork. As an artist myself, I always love to buy stickers from fellow artists. Sometimes it’s the most affordable way for someone to own a piece of art. Artists I follow who sell gorgeous stickers: Drawn To High Places, Block21Prints, Claire’s Wanderings, Karen Hallion, Sophia Trinh, Lizzy Dalton and MY SITE.

I hope this list helps a little when it comes to shopping for the artists in your life. If you are shopping for a young artist then obviously all of these apply to them as well, but for even younger, check out this post: 15 Gift Ideas for Young Artists.

If you’re an artist or creative, what would you add to this list?

15 Gift Ideas for Young Artists

Do you have a child in your life who is interested in art? A kid who always wants to draw or color, the kid whose eyes light up when there’s a craft project to work on, or the kid who proudly displays their artwork on the fridge? I was totally that kid growing up and nothing made me happier around my birthday than to receive new art supplies. I’ve compiled a list of items I would have loved to receive when I was a budding young artist.

Real quick…

One thing I would AVOID is probably kind of frustrating because it’s an easy gift: those big art sets that have a little bit of everything… colored pencils, watercolor, oil pastels, acrylic or oil paints, markers, and more. They are essentially a “try everything” set for new artists. I remember receiving a these sets when I was a kid and determining that I hated oil pastels or watercolor or colored pencils. I didn’t actually hate those mediums, but the quality of them in those sets was really low. They are some of the cheapest quality materials out there and when you’re learning how a medium works, they are really frustrating to create with.

Instead, find out what medium they are playing with at the moment and buy some higher quality versions; depending on your budget of course. If you can only spend $20 or $30, get a smaller set of high quality markers like Copic or Tombow. Get some fine line pens from Zebra Fude or Faber Castell. Consider some quality watercolor pencils and a brush or a dabbler set of paints from a known and easily available brand like Grumbacher, Daniel Smith, Holbein, or Winsor & Newton. You can usually buy these at Michael’s or JoAnn or shop online at Blick Art Materials. Blick even has a couple of brick & mortar stores in the US.

Still not sure what to get? Reach out to an artist and ask. I’m always happy to make recommendations!

Lots of affiliate links in this post. If you shop from them, please accept a wholehearted thank you!

Sketchbooks - Sketchbooks come in a seemingly infinite number of sizes and styles from pocket-sized to oversized with just as many varying types of paper. If your budding artist likes to do both painting and drawing, consider a sketchbook filled with mixed media paper or watercolor paper. If they are only into drawing, charcoal, and/or markers, then a drawing pad or sketchbook would be great. I’d stay away from newsprint because the paper is very low quality; think of the quality of newspaper. You can even level up on your gifting game and head to Etsy for a personalized sketchbook with the artist’s name on it.

Drawing Set - Different from low-quality art sets! It wasn’t until I was in middle school that I learned about the different hardness and softness of pencils and what I could do with them… and why I always smeared everything I drew with a No. 2 pencil with the palm of my left hand. My son was impressed when I explained why I didn’t want to use his No. 2 pencil to sketch out a watercolor painting because it would leave me with smeared graphite that I would have to erase. A drawing set along with a year subscription to Skillshare or another online learning platform would make for a wonderful gift.

Mini Canvases - My kids and I love to paint on little canvases. We have some 4x4 inch canvases right now, but I have seen as small as 3x3. And some of these little canvas kits come with a tiny easel to display the canvas. They are seriously so cute and can make for fun, custom ornaments if you can add a string or hook to the top.

Calligraphy/Lettering Book - A lot of creative kids these days are interested in learning calligraphy and stylized lettering. How about getting them a book that is geared to learn just that? This book is designed to help teens learn how to write in cursive too, since many schools aren’t teaching it anymore.

Brush Tip Markers - If you’re gifting a book on lettering or calligraphy, how about some awesome markers to go with it? Pricing can vary from brand to brand, but the ones I’ve used and love are Tombow, Prismacolor, and Copic. I have often seen Tombow and Prismacolor markers on sale at Michael’s. For black, waterproof markers I use Zebra Fude and Faber Castell Pitt. If I’m doing an ink drawing that my son is going to paint on top of, having waterproof ink is essential.

Tie-Dye Kit - How about teaching your child how to tie dye? First off, try to avoid using pre-mixed liquid dyes from Rit. Their dyes aren’t colorfast, which means they will bleed onto everything in the wash and fade little by little with every wash. Tulip makes wonderful kits that use a powdered dye that is meant to last longer after washing and the dye won’t bleed onto other fabrics when the directions are followed. This tie dye kit from Dharma Trading Co only has three colors, but it uses super high-quality dye and includes soda ash; an ingredient that guarantees more vibrant and colorfast results. When I’m doing ice dyeing, I use Procion dyes from Dharma Trading Co.

Window Crayons or Markers - Where were these when I was a kid?! I would have been ALL over these to decorate my bedroom window for every holiday. These are supposedly very washable and super fun to use. I may be getting those markers for myself this Christmas.

Scratch Boards - My my youngest son told me I needed to add this to the list. He loves these black scratch boards to draw on. He’s done a few kits that have a drawings already on there and some where he just draws what he wants and he loves them. Best of all, these are fantastic for travel as they use minimal supplies and are relatively mess-free.

Friendship Bracelet Kit - I have so many fond memories of making friendship bracelets when I was young. Most summers I had a bracelet-in-progress in my pocket or safety-pinned to my jeans. My kids recently asked me to make them a bracelet and I was both touched and kind of shocked. You can buy embroidery floss at craft stores inexpensively and put a kit together yourself or you can spend a few bucks more for a kit that includes an instruction book. I would typically opt for the embroidery floss on its own and then head to YouTube for instructional videos. For younger kids who might need help with the fine motor skills needed for friendship bracelets, I’d look at one of the looms out there, like this one.

Paint-by-Number Kits - There are loads of different paint-by-number sets out there with difficulties ranging from preschool to holy-crap-this-is-hard-for-adults. I spent a few months on a rather advanced one that I made for my son and even with my experience with painting, it was a really fun challenge. There are so many out there to choose from, so have fun. They are great for kids who don’t think they are “artistic” or they can’t think of what to paint when given a blank canvas. And this still gets them working on fine motor skills and helps them learn about color theory and using different colors to show depth.

Spirograph - I had a Spirograph when I was a kid and I would spend hours playing with it; creating fun designs. It’s a wonderful tool that uses gears to create beautiful tessellations. There are countless ways to create artwork. I remember learning about mandalas and applying them to my Spirograph creations. Drawing with a Spirograph also helps build fine motor skills and I’m sure there’s a math lesson in there too.

Travel Watercolor Kit - Multiple brands make travel-sized kits for travel that would be perfect for kids who are getting into painting. Teaching painting en plein air is a wonderful way to instill a love for painting and travel together and can teach about composition. These kits fit wonderfully in backpacks, fanny packs, and some are even small enough to fit in your pocket.

Paint Your Own Wooden Craft - Melissa & Doug makes kits for kids where they can paint their own race car, airplane, or train and the kits come with paints and a brush. There are kits where kids can paint wooden magnets, resin trinket boxes or a resin dinosaur or unicorn bank. How about a garden stepping stone or ceramic turtle? My kids have always loved these sets, but now that they are a little too old for Melissa & Doug kits, we cruise the aisles at our craft stores where they sell wooden treasure boxes, birdhouses, signs, and more. They’ll pick out an item along with a set of inexpensive, acrylic paints and a couple of brushes to make their own painting kit. We have also made these kits to give as birthday gifts.

Watercolor Pencils - Watercolor pencils are a wonderful way to introduce a young artist to watercolor painting and color theory. They draw or color with these pencils and then go over their drawing with a wet brush to blur lines or blend colors together. These are great at teaching how different colors blend into each other without having to be aware of what paint is on their brush. My youngest had been frustrated with his lighter colors getting muddy because he would forget to wash the brush when going for a new color. Using these pencils kind of skips that step and he loves getting to see how beautiful the colors blend together. These ones from Faber-Castell have an ergonomic grip to help little hands hold the pencils easier.

Craft Kits - Every craft store like Michael’s and JoAnn’s has a variety of different craft kits designed for kids. There are kits on how to make paracord keychains or bracelets, making jewelry, kits on crocheting, quilting, or knitting. An at-home pottery wheel, a kit for modeling clay, rock painting, and window sun catchers, and I have seen kits that introduce sewing, counted cross stitch, and embroidery too.

Whether your child is in preschool, high school, or in between, receiving a gift that helps fuel a passion for creativity sticks with them for a long time.

Black Belt Testing - The Aftermath

My oldest son and I participated in a 2-day test at our taekwondo studio a little less than two weeks ago, hoping to earn our Kukkiwon 1st degree black belts. He’s been a student since he was three and a half, so that’s eight years of training for him. I started attending class about three and a half years ago with zero intention of doing anything but enjoy the workouts. The last of my bruises are healing that I’m not sure how I got and my muscles are finally not screaming at me when I roll out of bed in the morning. There’s still some fatigue that catches me off guard though. My friend Rachel, who tested with us, said it was the equivalent of running a marathon, so it’ll take more than a week to fully recover. I think she’s right!

I wanted to write out a rundown of what our test consisted of for anyone who’s curious; since we spent the better part of 2021 preparing for it. We were attending classes five to six times a week and training on our own in between. There were nine of us testing total and a bunch of us would get together on a regular basis to train and help each other out where needed. There was one other mom testing with me, Rachel, and one other 20-something adult who didn’t train with us. The rest were comprised of kids ages 11 to 15, two of whom were our own sons.

It was truly a team effort.

Yes, I created this poster. I do most of the graphic design for our studio. ;-)

So, what went into this test?

Back in the spring, we had to submit a “Black Belt Letter of Intent;” essentially a one-page essay explaining “why I want to be a black belt.” Then we had the rest of the summer to compose a five-page essay documenting our black belt journey; including mention of each of the five tenets of taekwondo (integrity, courtesy, self-control, perseverance, and indomitable spirit). The last essay required was one-page with our plans and goals for beyond the black belt test.

Throughout the year, we were required to assist in teaching taekwondo classes for 80 hours and also complete 20 hours of community service.

For candidates under age 18, they needed to get a letter of recommendation from a teacher and from their parents. My brother-in-law, who has a black belt in jiujitsu, wrote letters for both my son and me. While he may not know much about taekwondo, he understands the work and pride that goes into earning a black belt. I technically didn’t need a letter of recommendation, but his words totally made me cry. My son also got a letter from his 5th grade teacher since his current 6th grade teachers don’t really know him very well yet.

All of our essays, service hour sheets, and letters had to be printed and organized in a binder so our masters could read everything easily. These were due the 1st of October.

Lastly, we all had to compose a one-minute video documenting our black belt journey and it had to include voice over. I got some help honing my Adobe Premiere Pro skills from one of our awesome instructors, Jessa, when making both my video and my kid’s. Having to narrow down eight years of memories into a 90-second video was really, really hard!

Jessa is a film student and made a short documentary about Rachel and me a few months ago. I don’t know if she’s planning to add to it now that our test is over, but maybe??

Here’s a rundown of what our test consisted of:

Friday was all about pushing us past our limits physically. We had a long series of exercises where we completed as many reps as we could in the time limit. There was maybe a minute in between each exercise. For the times we alternated with a partner, we got a slightly longer break. All kicks had to be either belt level (on the bags), or shoulder level (on handheld targets).

My husband and my sister cheering us on!

Physical Test, Friday, 6:30-8:45pm:

• 5 minutes of jumping jacks (no stopping)

• 2 minutes of hand-release pushups (chest all the way to the floor, hands pop up)

• 2 minutes of sit-ups

• 2 minutes of burpees

• 2 minutes of air squats

• 2 minutes of v-ups (Google it, they suck)

• 2 minutes of flutter kicks

• 2 minutes of jumping squats

• 1 minute jumping front snap kicks on a target (alternating legs)

• 1 minute axe kicks

• 1 minute spinning hook kicks (right leg)

• 1 minute spinning hook kicks (left leg)

2 minute water break

• 1 minute roundhouse kicks

• 1 minute tornado kicks

• 1 minute jumping back kicks

• 1 minute butterfly kicks

• 1 minute repeat butterfly kicks with higher number of reps

• 1 minute butterfly burpees (drop into a burpee, pushup, then two roundhouse kicks on the bag)

• 1 minute mountain climbers, short sprint, 10 butterfly kicks (this one almost made me throw up)

1 minute water break

• kicking combinations 1-10 on targets in under 2 minutes

• speed Poomsae, Taeguek 1-8 in 2 minutes (hilarious to watch, we all looked awful)

My kiddo toughing it out!

Saturday was all about the technical side of the sport. We had to show how well we know all ten punching combinations, ten kicking combinations, four weapons forms, Taegeuk 1-8 Poomsae, and Koryo (1st Dan Black Belt Poomsae). Poomsae are choreographed sets of strikes, blocks, and kicks that mimic an attack and are performed with precision and power. Kind of like Tai-chi, but faster and more powerful. We also had to demonstrate four different weapons forms. Thankfully these weren’t about speed, all of these had to be demonstrated with power AND synchronously with the group. This was my strongest skill, but it was NOT an easy thing to teach the young teens!

Then we all donned our sparring gear and had to demonstrate an application of one Taeguek form with sparring gear and full contact.

Next up was sparring and then self-defense. Sparring is pretty straightforward. Self-defense, not so much. It’s essentially you versus three attackers for two minutes and very few rules. The goal is to keep fighting and to survive. We obviously aren’t aiming to knock someone out, or actually break knees, but we are expected to shove, punch, and kick. There are kicks to the groin, throws, and lots of yelling.

The last part was board breaking. We all had to create a routine with eight boards and demonstrate our skills at both setting up board holders and executing the breaks in one shot. In between each of these routines, we all watched each other’s black belt journey videos.

My sister surprised me by flying from LA to join us for the 5k and cheer us on during testing.

Saturday morning, 8am start

• 5k run in under 45 minutes

• 1 hour written test on taekwondo history and theory

break for lunch

Technical Test, Saturday, 1:30pm start

• Punching combinations 1-10, both sides in sync

• Kicking combinations 1-10, both sides, in sync

• Poomsae, Taegeuk 1-8 (color belt forms) in sync

• Poomsae, Koryo in sync

• Individual Poomsae, Koryo and 2 mystery forms

• Bo staff form in sync

• Nunchucks form in sync

• Kamas form in sync

• Eskrima form in sync

4 minute break for water and to put on sparring gear

• Application of Poomsae, Taegeuk of choice with full contact

• Tag-team sparring, 20 minutes total, multiple rounds

• 1-minute sparring rounds, x2 per candidate

• Self-defense, 1 vs 3 for 2 minutes, full contact

2 minute break to remove sparring gear

• board breaking, 2 speed foot breaks, 2 speed hand breaks, 3 power foot breaks, 1 power hand break (power vs speed is determined by how the board is held)

• inspirational videos in between each person board breaking

My favorite parts were Application of Poomsae and the 5k (even though I still don’t love running). The weather was chilly, but we managed to avoid the rain that came later, and the fall foliage was incredible. Application of Poomsae was fun. It shows how well we really know and understand the forms and it was fun to add drama to our kicks and punches.

Surprisingly, I kind of enjoyed the tag-team sparring too. Sparring, as a whole, is really hard and scary for me. I am constantly afraid of twisting a knee or rolling an ankle, all while trying to avoid getting kicked in the head. The tag-team format was really fun and fast-paced with everyone swapping in and out pretty quickly. It let us all see each other spar and I was surprised that I enjoyed it. I may have audibly whimpered when one of our masters ended it with, “that was a great sparring warmup, now let’s do some do real sparring.”

My least favorite parts were pretty much all of Friday and self-defense. Friday was really hard for me. I experienced dizziness and nausea at a few points and was proud that I didn’t actually throw up. It pushed me to the very end of my stamina and endurance… and then pushed some more. I was also really, really nervous, so that made it hard for me to calm down and actually rest in between exercises.

In my self-defense exercise, I was terrified of falling down. The sparring chestguard (hogu) is quite long on my torso, and I knew that if I fell down, it would be tough for me to get back up again. Then, one of my attackers got overzealous with a padded bat and was whipping my head as hard as he could repeatedly. At one point I shouted “what the fuck?!” and I heard one of our masters ask him to stop with the bat. In a real-life scenario, if that had been a real bat, I would’ve died after the first blow. He was hitting that hard. He was also hitting me from behind while I fended off a different attacker and, while it didn’t hurt physically, it made me incredibly angry because it was not applicable to the exercise. I haven’t been that furious in a very long time and it took me a few minutes to get my emotions in check after my two minutes were up. I did NOT want to cry in front of that guy. In the end, I managed to stay on my feet the whole time and that was a victory for me.

I was so disappointed in my board breaking. I didn’t break all of the boards on the first try and only one of them was because my board holder didn’t do a good job. I think my brain and my body were just FRIED by that point. I really should’ve practiced the breaks more often than I did and requested to practice with real boards.

Now we wait. Any day now, our masters will reach out to set up times to meet with us one-on-one to go over our results. I have been reassured that testing is based on individual skill, fitness, and training, not comparing one candidate to another. But it’s human nature to compare ourselves to others and I can’t help but wonder where I may have fallen short.

For the last couple of weeks, it’s been tough to settle my mind now that the test is over. I haven’t been able to sleep well these past few weeks. I remember a little part of the test and go over and over how I could’ve done it better or even just differently. What did we miss in training that we should’ve practiced more? I’m very confident in a few areas, others I’m just not sure.

Either way, I’m super proud of all of us. My kiddo kicked butt and worked hard throughout and I’m proud of myself for sticking with this and not quitting when it got hard. My husband wrote a long post on Facebook just before our test and this line rang so true for me, “Her body has tried to shut this down many times, but her mind has managed to overcome every hurdle thus far.” #IceAndIbuprofenFTW

Black Belt Testing - What the Heck am I Doing?!

It’s the end of September. In a little more than one week, I’ll be testing for a Kukkiwon black belt in taekwondo. To say I’m apprehensive is an understatement.

Like seriously, how did I get here?!

I am fully aware that every martial arts studio and program has its own testing methods; no two are alike. Even within taekwondo studios, every studio does its belt ranking differently.

My oldest son, T started taekwondo when he was three. He has always been naturally agile when it comes to physical activity, so he took to taekwondo quickly. The discipline has been great for his ADHD brain and he competed in his first sparring tournament when he was six. He’s been training for eight years and he will be testing for his black belt with me next week.

His instructor, Master Amely, goaded me into attending a “Mom’s Class” one morning when T was almost four. She assured me that I would have fun and I really did. The class kicked my butt and I was unbelievably sore for days afterward. A week later, when it was time to go to the next class, I found out I was pregnant with my youngest son after more than two years of unexplained infertility. I was already feeling fatigue and I didn’t have it in me to attend another class. Master Amely seemed to understand and didn’t push. She also seemed to think she cured my infertility. Maybe??

My youngest son, M started attending classes at 22 months old. His first word was “ay-ya!” and he competed in his first sparring tournament when he was only four. Now, at age seven he takes it very seriously and joined the Extreme Team this year where he gets to learn extra tricking, board breaking, tumbling, and performs choreographed routines at belt graduations and events.

M was four years old before I had the courage and could scrape together enough confidence to attend a taekwondo class again. I was approaching my 40th birthday and struggling with serious body-image issues. Around the time M turned two, I gained about forty pounds and I still don’t know why. I’m fairly certain hormones are to blame, but it was tremendously frustrating to get used to my body at 2-3 sizes bigger than what has always been normal for me. Even after three years of taekwondo training, I am still working on getting used to it.

I’ve watched bits and pieces of the black belt test in years past. It’s two days long. It looks exhausting both physically and mentally. I’ve seen candidates fail who were younger and more fit than me. There are physical challenges that I know will push me past the boundaries of my abilities. There’s a grueling physical fitness test, a written test, a Poomsae test, a sparring test, self defense (5 vs 1), a 5k run, and we have to create and execute a board breaking routine. We have to assist in teaching classes for 80 hours and do 20 hours of community service. We have to get letters of recommendation from teachers and parents (for those under 18). We have to write eight different essays beforehand and we have to create a 1-minute video with photos and voiceover talking about our black belt journey.

There’s a reason they only have black belt testing once or twice a year.

My body is so tired and my brain is fried. My left hip and IT band are giving me issues and there’s a spot behind my right knee that aches. I have almost-constant foot pain and my neck and shoulders are screaming to take a break from holding up my boobs. To be honest, I have had more and more thoughts about quitting this week than ever.

But this close and I know I can’t quit. I need to do this both for my kids and for myself. I need to be able to show them how practice, patience, and hard work can pay off and that even at my age, I can do things that are both physically and mentally challenging. 

I stuck with taekwondo because I loved the workouts. I never had any intention of belt testing or even considering a black belt. I finally did my first color belt test just to show my kids that I could.

As I earned higher belts and the curriculum got more challenging, I realized that I needed to do this for myself as well. Making my family and friends proud is one thing, but I need to be proud of myself. I have never set a goal quite like this before. I spent most of my 30s caring for my kids and never really making time to take care of myself; both mentally and physically.  A large part of me is hoping that reaching this massive goal will help boost my confidence and body image. I have struggled with accepting my body since pregnancies resulted in drastic changes. Perhaps this accomplishment can help me love and accept the body I am in. If anything, I will be proud of all of my hard work and how it all has paid off.